The Virtue Of Selfishness

Could it really be okay to let kids eat whatever they want? Sleep whenever they want? Watch whatever they want? If kids are completely free to make their own choices, they’ll develop damaging habits that will haunt them into adulthood. Surely parents have a duty to set a few limits.

But what if this conventional wisdom is wrong? What if our deepest ideas of how learning works, how knowledge grows, and the nature of personhood all point to the brute fact that parenting philosophies have missed a critical detail?

In The Sovereign Child, Aaron Stupple explains Taking Children Seriously, the only parenting philosophy that accounts for the fact that children are people—their reasons, desires, emotions, and creativity all work precisely the same way that those of adults do. Because of this, much of the conventional wisdom simply cannot work as intended.

Using examples gleaned from his years as a father of five, Aaron takes a close look at the unavoidable harms of rule enforcement and the startling alternatives available when parents never give up on treating children as if their reasons for their choices matter as much as anyone else's.